FABBLES: 1... A Scruffian Chapbook
Meet the waifs of Ripper Vicky's Empire, Fixed forever as they are, never ageing, never starving, ever bouncing back to exactly how they were Fixed... the perfect child labour.
Meet the scamps and scrags, scallywags and scofflaws escaped from their chimney sweep and mill owner masters, hiding out in their rookery cribs, surviving as thieves and beggars... and fighting back.
Meet Flashjack the hellion and Puckerscruff the urchin; Squirlet Nicely and Vermintrude Toerag; Yapper, the Scruffian who learned to speak Dog; Whelp, the dog Fixed as a Scruffian; and Rake Jake Scallion, not a Scruffian, but the bestest mate any scruff ever had.
Meet Gobfabbler Halyard-Dunkling, Esquire, aka Gob, the fabbler of this here crib, with his fabbles of Christmas spirit, canine spifflication, and why, only the most important fabble of em all... the fabble of how the Scruffians took the Stamp!
Just in time for Christmas, (leastways it should be if yer order sharpish,) a perfect wee stocking filler for friends and family. Buy one for yourself! Buy one for your mate! Buy one for your mate's small child and get them to read the first story aloud in their best Mockney accent as you all sit round the Yuletide fire! They won't be that scarred for life. And even if they are, it'll be scarred in a good way. Like if David Cronenberg remade Oliver! on a script from Clive Barker... and kept the songs. Which would be awesome, right?
Whe-e-e-e-ere is love? It's in the sausages, mate. Them sausages is made with oodles of love!
Q: SPECIFICS, MAN, SPECIFICS!
A: That's not really a queston, but OK, here's the skinny...
Publisher: New Sodom Press (i.e. Yours Truly via Lulu)
Release date: 1st December 2013
Trade edition: £6.00 from Lulu (plus Lulu's charge for postage and packing)
Speshul edition: £12/£14/£15 direct from Yours Truly (postage and packing included)
Q: CAN I GET THE TRADE EDITION FROM AMAZON?
A: The chapbook has been put out for distribution to Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Ingrams, and such, but when and if Amazon get copies in stock is another matter. Click the relevant button and go for it, by all means.
If it's not showing in stock and you don't want to order from Lulu, you might try adding Fabbles: 1 to your wishlist. Who knows, if enough people do it, maybe Amazon will get their finger out and order in some copies, eh?
Q: WHAT IS THIS SPESHUL EDITION MALARKY?
A: The speshul edition has a printed-in bookplate and additional illustration that's not in the trade edition. Order a speshul edition copy direct, and I'll sign, line and date it, dedicated to the person of your choice, and decorated by the Scruffian of your choice. The first 26 copies were lettered in accordance with the Alfabetcha in the author's best childlike scrawl, but these have now all been sold.
Q: WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY DECORATED?
A: Decoration may involve: crayon;
For a list of Scruffians to choose from, see "An Alfabetcha of Scrufian Names," downloadable here.
Q: WHAT'S THE DAMAGE FOR THIS SPESHUL EDITION?
A: Price: £12, by Paypal, UK postage and packing included. If you're in Europe, postage is a couple of quid more, so we'll call it £14. If you're in the US or further afield, add another quid to make it £15.
Q: ANY SPECIAL DEALS FOR LONG-TERM SUPPORTERS?
A: Scruffians sponsor-subscribers should check their email for the last circular (23rd November, 2013,) which contains a discount code for the special edition. Because, thanks.
Q: AND HOW DO I ORDER ONE?
A: To place your order, just click the Paypal button below and add a note with the dedication details required or, if Paypal won't let you add a note, (it seems to happen sometimes,) make your payment and drop me a follow-up email at hal AT halduncan DOT com, from (or with a mention of) the same address you paid via.
Q: CAN I GET IT ON EBOOK?
Also, if you order FABBLES: 1 direct or send me a proof of purchase of your order via Lulu or Amazon, I'll happily provide you with digital versions of "A Scruffian Christmas" and "The Beast of Buskerville."